Patty and Barbara

Or Barbara and Patti. Or Barbara and Patty. Barbara Smith. Patty Leigh Smith. Perry, NY.

I am putting their name out there for the sake of those who may be googling their names and may want to know of my family's experience with these two women. These are two women who have come, on numerous occasions, to stay in the home of my elderly mother and father. They have not only stayed there on multiple occasions but have had my parents pay their way from their hometown in New York state to my parents' home in another state.

My parents have also given these two women cash and also paid for their stays in hotels on more than one occasion.

When I became concerned that this arrangement may not be the healthiest situation for my parents I came on-line to see if I could find out anything about these two ladies. I didn't find much about them on-line, however, I was able to get a hold of some people who live in their small town of Perry, NY. I spoke with a few people about them and learned that their experiences with these two ladies was very similar to the experiences my sweet, kind, extremely giving and caring parents were having.

In my experience there were countless... how can I say it?.... discrepancies in what we were told by these ladies. Also, contradictions between their actions and their words were rampant. After speaking with some others who know these ladies I have found that others have had this same experience with these women, as well.

May I please strongly suggest that people do their research if they are considering becoming another one in the long line of people who have had experiences helping these ladies out. Please, please, please, take your time and ask a lot of people in their town of Perry, NY a lot of questions about these two.

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

Question #6- Go Big or Be Practical?

OK, here's the deal. I have a big proposal tomorrow.

I have two choices:
go for the money or go safe

My first presentation. Better to leave money on the table, yet at least leave with something? Or chance walking away with nothing?

Thoughts?

Q#5- Should I stay or should I go?

OK, here's question number 5. Should I consider going on a cross country road trip for many months out of my life or should I not waste my time considering it?

Details: A friend of mine, Jeremy, took 6 months out of his life to hit the open road. He is driving around in a mini-van that he sleeps in when he doesn't find a friend or a friend of a friend to stay with. I recommend you take a look at his blog www.jerjourneys.blogspot.com

I have been jealous of him and long to do something similar. Do I give up my apartment for 6 months, find myself a mini-van and do the same? Do I spend time planning a road trip across my country similar in nature and similar to the "escape" I took 6 years ago in Europe? Do I forget the idea of it as a lone woman sleeping in a van in parking lots is a dangerous thing? How much time do I spent planning this, if anything?

Thoughts, oh dear friends of mine?

Q#4- Head or heart?

Hi All,

This question is not so much a matter of "help me make a decision" as it is a survey about how each of you live your lives.

So here's the question:

When you've got to make a big decision in your life, which of the two outweigh the other: your head or your heart? Which do you listen to more?

Vote. Weigh in. Debate.
(Please)

Q#3: Exercise indoors in the dry or out in the wet?

Simple question: should I go walk in the rain today, or exercise indoors?

I told you: simple.

I leave it to you. Will I wind up wet? Or will I break out my new exercise DVDs and stay nice and dry. (That would be me trying to influence your vote.)

Have at it and in an hour I'll either be sweating on a balance ball or shivering in the cold. (That would be me attempting to influence your vote one more time.)

Q#2 Who lives to dye another day?

Step right up, Folks, and have your say. After a bit 'o the bard we'll give you your time to make your proclamation- yay or stay?

To dye or not to dye, that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in your mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of aging follicles,
Or to take arms against them
And, by opposing, end them. To dye,
to gray no more- and by "to gray" to say we end
the heartache and the thousand natural shocks (each time you see my silver hair)
That flesh is heir to- 'tis a consummation (of 44 years)
Devoutly to be wished. To dye? To gray?
To gray, perchance to dream
that I am already that loving grandmother,
cuddling babe in arms. Ay, there's the rub,
For in that gray hair, what dreams may come?
When I have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. That's the respect
Of gray hair from a life lived so long.
For who would bear the scorns of time?
The proud woman's up-do make?
The hateful, age-ist frown?
When she might her brunette retake
With a little bottle of brown?

So here, my friends, is my refrain:
Who would see me with a completely dark mane?
Who would see me gray naturally, see my white hairs turn, as they do, tenderly?
Who would see me hold onto the tenable leashes of my raven hair?
And who would say, "Dear friend, go gray, if you dare"?


Background:
1) My hair is overwhelmingly still dark. For now, there are just some long silvers placed sporadically throughout my head. Then quite a bit at each side of my bangs.
2) I like my silver hairs, especially the ones on the sides and the back. (I think they're shiny and pretty. And I also love seeing women embrace their grays. Wow, I sound much too militant some days.) But I hate the ones around my bangs. Whenever I pull my hair into a ponytail, the contrast between them and my blackish hair makes me look like I have funny bald patches. (Not that I'm saying there's anything wrong with being bald. Nothing at all.)
2) My dear boyfriend likes my silver. For some reason he thinks they're sexy. (How could he not? It's on me.) But can live with it either way.
3) There's no way in heck I'm going to keep the gray hair if I have a job interview so will definitely dye it in that case.
4) Currently (and tragically), I have no job interviews looming in the near (or distant- did I mention it was a tragedy?) future.
5) On any given day, you never know who you might meet who could potentially become your boss. So be prepared, right?
6) I don't like when I see people looking at the grays around my bangs. It almost makes me forget what I'm talking about (as if I could ever forget anything so salient and fascinating) and start wondering what they're thinking.
7) I like the IDEA of aging gracefully, but I can't quite figure out if I equate having painfully large needles, full of dangerous botulism shot into my face with dying the annoying grays at my bangs.
8) BONUS POINT: I am truly uncomfortable with this kind of public exposure. (Am I really taking a vote on whether I'm going to dye my hair or not?!) But since I'm running this experiment of living my life by blog-vote for the next 30 days, I'm determined to follow this path where ever it leads.


So the question is whether I should dye now or live to dye another day.

Q#1- Do I Take the Job or Not?

Question #1- Do I take the job or not? This is for real. I am leaving it up to you.

Background: For various family reasons, I didn't go to college when all my peers went. For several years I managed a small health care practice. I didn't make much money, but it was a job I was good at and the doctor was a good man. Finally, the day came where i was able to quit that job and FINALLY go to college (uni for my overseas friends) so I could eventually get a better job! I graduated in May! It cost a lot of money and it was hard work as it was an Ivy League school. But I did it. I graduated.

The week before I graduated, analysts (who analyze such things) came out to say that for recent college graduates, this is the worst job market in the country's history (that would include the period of the depression). Wow. Happy graduation to me. Turns out, they were right. I have applied to countless jobs without success. I've applied for everything from entry level jobs to more qualified positions. I've applied at companies from large corporations in the big cities to the Starbucks and grocery store in my neighborhood. Nothing. So far I have only received the following feedback: 1) I am over qualified 2) I am not well enough qualified 3) they are not hiring at the moment 4) the position has already been filled. (The time I got the email informing me that the position had already been filled I was a little excited because at least I finally got some feedback to the countless resumes I've sent out. I know, pathetic.)

Since I couldn't find any opportunities, I made my own opportunity by starting a business. The work is seasonal and right now is the "off" season so have neither work, nor income. While the business was 'in season", I didn't receive any income, BUT by my final week I finally broke even. Yessiree, folks. My business now has a tidy profit of $26. As soon as I make the next necessary purchase for the company, it will dip back into the red but for now I'm celebrating any victory that comes along.

In the meantime, I have a little money set aside but worry if it'll be enough until I find a job where I can support myself.

This past week I saw the doctor I used to work for. He asked me to come back to work for him 3 mornings a week. For the same rate I was making 6 years ago (which wasn't much at that time). I used to live near his office. Now I live about an hour away. So I'd be traveling 2 hours on Mondays and 2 hours on Wednesdays in order to work 3 hours each of those mornings. On Fridays I'd work for 5 or 6 hours and drive 2.

Now's your turn.

Do I take the job or not?

YOU decide. But make it quick. I only have a few days before I need to let him know. I'll get back to you to let you know how it goes.

Help Me Live My Life

Sometimes I find it hard to make decisions.

Big decisions: Should I keep my apartment or move? Move to another place or another city or another continent? Small decisions: Do I stay inside where it's nice and warm or pull on sweats and go for a walk to begin the process of losing the 30 pounds I packed on in college? Do I eat brownies for breakfast or half a banana and yogurt? And medium decisions: Do I send out one more never-to-be-answered-resume-and-cover-letter, telling random company X why I am the person they want working for them or should I play a game of Sudoku where, at least, I'll succeed at something or do I spend that time trying to learn another language? Do I take my car into the dealership today to get the side view mirror fixed (the one that someone smashed while I was in a meeting the other night) or do I keep driving with the broken side mirror (I'm also missing my regular rear view mirror) because I'm just not too sure what bigger expense I'll have next week? You'll even get to weigh in on relationship decisions.

Whenever I have a decision to make, but inertia has set in, freezing my brain into a sticky pit of "I don't know!", I'll ask you to make my decision for me. Whatever you all decide, I'll do. Go ahead and kick my butt. Or simply tell me to sit down and chill. Tell me to wear that green sweater or go for the flowery skirt. I'll blog & tweet the question. You'll vote and I swear to follow whatever decision you've made. Whatever it is.

And I'll let you know what the fall out or the consequences are to every decision. Even the ones that end up some what embarrassingly.

Can some life decisions be better made by a majority vote? Give it a try and let's see how it goes. Then see if afterward, it changes how you live your own life.